hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
