Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
