gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
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Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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