you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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