And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
