Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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