No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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