Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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