Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
