remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
im holly from the hills drunk
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
