so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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