It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
