Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
