Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
