I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
