bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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