I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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