he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
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I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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