I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
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Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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