Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The beer is more important than you right now.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
