Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
