I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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