What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
