i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
