you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You've changed since you got that strap on
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize