I wannas sexs uuuuu
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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