No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
