just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize