went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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