I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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