I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
