nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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