In the future we'll all be gay
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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