i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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