Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
