mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
