Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
