Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
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Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
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I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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