Kiss
Puke
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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