He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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