I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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