who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
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Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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