No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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