If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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