plz talk dirty to me
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
