you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
