well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
