I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
