Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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