Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
