I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize