I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
love makes seman taste better
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
