I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
