tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
