Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
