everyone is single if you try hard enough
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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