at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize