Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
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You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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