have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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