when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
