You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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