just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just had sex bonerless
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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